Affliction

***Trigger Warning: Read At Your Own Pace. Viewer Discretion Advised***


It all started when Christina opened the bottle, feeling a rush of guilt overcome her as she poured yet another glass. She leaned her head back and put the glass to her lips to taste the bittersweet liquid as it flowed down her tongue, to the back of her mouth, and then emptying into her stomach.

pizap.com14413549612761

The liquid is how it is described, bittersweet. Bitter, when you first start to drink it, for it causes a sting to your tongue that you have to wait for to disappear. Sweet, for after the stinging settles and you endure more than your share number of stings, it ceases leaving all consciousness and sensibility behind.

Christina can still feel the sting.

With another full glass in hand, she makes her way from the kitchen to the bathroom of her small, one bedroom apartment. Christina stands in front of the mirror, examining herself for tonight’s evening. She places her dark, brown hair over her shoulder, strings it down her back, and reveals a face staring back at her. It’s not a confident woman she sees, it’s a scared teenage girl within the mirror.

pizap.com14413571460942

“That’s not me,” she muttered to herself, as she lowers and shakes her head to get the image from appearing again. When she looks back up to the mirror, the image of the teenage girl is gone, displaying herself this time.

pizap.com14413997577191

“This isn’t me either,” she says a little louder. “None of these are me,” she almost yells taking another sip, but before swallowing, spits it at the mirror, and bashes the glass into it.

With the help of the wall, she goes back to the kitchen to pour another glass, just to come back to the disputable mirror that exposes streams of mascara covering her face in the midst of a memory haunting her subconscious.

pizap

“I didn’t want it,” she admits to the mirror as she reminisces the sound of a heavy breath on the back of her neck. “I said no.” After taking another sip, she drops her head again and closes her eyes, trying push out the constant reminder of the incident. When it fails to retire, her eyes glare over the broken pieces of glass lying on the floor, until she spots the largest piece. Full of resentment, Christina bends down to grab the triangular shape and takes another sip. With the memory roaring strong inside her mind, she begins the process. Slit. Goes the first horizontal line, for the heavy breath on her neck. Slit. Goes the second line, for the yelling of no. Slit. Goes the third line, for the smell of the bad cologne. Slit. Goes the fourth line, for no one rescuing her. After four slits, she welcomes the pain to overcome her memory. “It’s not enough,” she mutters to herself when the burn subsides, “I still hear it. I still hear myself.” She then turns to the broken mirror, “I still see her.” Finishing the rest of the glass, to which she feels no more sting, she prepares to begin again.

However, her procedure was interrupted by the ring of her cellphone from the kitchen. Christina attempts to wipe off her running mascara, gather herself and the glass, and go toward the resonant sound.

Stepping out of the bathroom doorway, using the wall for support, she watches as the light starts to dim and the ring echo. She could feel her sluggish body tumbling down, until she reached the ground, no longer able to feel anything. She thought she heard a knock on the door while she was struggling to regain consciousness, but then her world went black.

pizap.com14413582674641

*****

Christina awakens to find her self connected to monitors in a white room. Her skimpy, red dress has been replaced with a loose, white, dotted gown that doesn’t appeal to her shape. She looks around the room to see a familiar blonde with blue eyes sitting in the chair next to her bed. “You’re finally awake,” he says smiling and relieved.

pizap.com14412664791021

“Jeremy?” Christina struggles to sit up to get a better look at him.

pizap

“Ow,” she lets out as she touches her head. “My head.”

“Don’t get up too fast. The nurse said it’s better if you took things slow.” Jeremy tells her. “She said you hit your head very hard.”

Christina thinks trying to process all of this. “What are you doing here? And how’d I even get here?”

“I found you.” Jeremy answers. “You were unconscious on your apartment floor. I didn’t know what to do so I called the ambulance and they rushed you here. They said you had alcohol poisoning.”

She was going to tell him a way that he could’ve helped her without her being taken to a stupid hospital, but she decided to not disclose that type of information to him.

“They pumped your stomach and wrapped up your arm.” He continues referring to the white arm band around her wrist where her cuts should be.

Christina looks at the arm band and tugs at the sleeve trying to conceal it, looking away from Jeremy. “How’s dad?”

“In a meeting as usual. He sends his regards.” Jeremy shames.

“I see nothing has changed,” Christina acknowledges, still avoiding his eyes. “You still haven’t told me what you are doing here?”

“I’m here looking for you.” Jeremy tells her. “I’ve been searching for you ever since  you left home. I finally got some word of you after these few years and this is how I found you… on your apartment floor. I thought you went back to your dorm, but I heard you stopped attending classes.” This is when his voice turned into sobs. “Christina, why did you leave home? Did I do something wrong? I searched for every reason why you could have wanted to leave but I couldn’t find one. So it had to have been because me. And then I found you on the ground like that and your eyes rolling back. I couldn’t tell if you were dead or alive. Christina that was so scary and I was so worried. And I didn’t even know how to help you. I couldn’t do anything for you. You could have killed yourself and you are acting like everything is fine!”

pizap.com14412684195091

Hearing her kid brother plead and cry made tears well up in her eyes. She never meant to hurt anyone, especially her little brother. She just had to get away, not from him. But from Him. She grabs him close, hugging him tight like mom used to do. “It wasn’t you.” She said through her tears. “It wasn’t you. I’m sorry, Jeremy, I am sorry.”

*****

After the incident at the hospital, Jeremy suggested that Christina receive some help to combat her addiction and sort out her emotions. She didn’t accept it right away, for she denied ever having a problem, but thinking about what she put her brother through, she felt guilty and went through with a program that was recommended to her. That’s when Christina realized she had a problem. The first few days were strenuous, adjusting to no alcoholic beverages and psychological appointments, where she had to sit in a room and relive the memories she tried hard to repress.

However, she persevered through it all to never go back to the dark place her kid brother rescued her from and in 90 days time, she completed the treatment and was on remission.

Her brother was the only one to greet her upon her completion, but he was enough. “You did it big sis,” he hugged her tight, elated that she was done and well. “Only with your help, Jeremy. I could do it,” she assured.

pizap.com14413376765551

******

To her surprise, some of her old college friends had asked about her and wanted to meet to catch up. That’s why we see Christina in front of the bathroom mirror of the restaurant. “You can do this. You are in control,” she tells herself. “You are strong. You are beautiful. You are yourself.”

09-04-15_8-12 PM

After giving herself a confidence boost, she leaves the bathroom and makes way to locate her associates. “Christina is that you?” one of them asked as she got up to hug her. “You look fantastic. I see you’re a blonde now.”

“I’ve always been blonde,” Christina says plainly as she sits down. She didn’t blame them for not knowing who she really was, because at some point she didn’t know either.

pizap.com14414130146871

Within twenty minutes a waiter came by with a bottle of wine, pouring it into everyone’s glass. When he came to her’s, she just held out her hand and shook her head. “Christina, you aren’t drinking?” her former colleague asked, shocked. “No, thank you,” she said, while she thought of her training words to resist the urge to drink. As her old peers talked and sipped on their drinks, all Christina could smell was that bittersweet liquid; It smelled like poison.

pizap.com1441413505072


Credits:

Custom Content

Title Image’s Vodka Bottle Clutter: “ABSOLUTE VODKA” by Black le

Christina’s Long Hair: “Nightcrawler-Sunny” by Nightcrawler Sims

Christina’s Red Dress: “Strappy V Bralet Dress” by Black Lily

Christina’s Eye Makeup: “Kuroi.Eyeliner” by decayclownsims

Christina’s Running Mascara: “Make up set N2, smeared mascara” by MRS.Cloe

Christina’s Patient Outfit: “Get to Work Patient Outfit” by kirkwoodproductions

Christina’s Hospital Bed Frame: “IKEA MALM Bedroom” by Veranka

Christina’s Hospital Bed: “IKEA HEMNES Bedroom & Mattresses for Bed Frames” by Veranka

Christina’s Out of Rehab Hairstyle: “Newsea Hair YU090f Retexture” by Simsta

Christina’s Dinner Hairstyle: “Skysims Hair 242 Retexture” by Simsta

Christina’s Dinner Dress: “17 Long Sleeve Dresses” by Dani Paradise

Wine Glass Clutter: Glass and Glass rack” by Tamamaro

Gallery

Christina: “Christina Milian” by carnivorelama44

Christina’s Apartment: “One Bedroom Studio Flat” by tttrauma

The Hospital Room: “Simple Adult Hospital” by iRacheal

The Rehab: “Hawthorne Recovery Center” by jlkiss14

The Restaurant: “Lettre Rouge Restaurant” by aaguiar94

Advertisements

21 thoughts on “Affliction

    1. I did warn everyone it was dark. lol. That’s why I was a little hesitant in sharing it, but I’m really glad you enjoyed it despite the dark tendency and thought it was powerful. 🙂 That’s awesome.
      Thank you so much for reading and commenting! 😀

      Liked by 2 people

    1. I never took myself as a writer at all until you guys made me see it. I actually have potential. Thank you so much for showing me. I’m thinking about taking this seriously because I enjoy doing it. And if I really have this talent then maybe I should explore it more and see how far I can go if I can hone this skill. Thank you so much CT. You’ve made me happy. 🙂

      Liked by 4 people

  1. Whoa! So, like…ok…I’m squeamish, and I don’t do blood. At all. Not even fake blood. Even reading about blood without even mentioning the word made my hands numb LOL. I’m a punk. But anyway, excellent work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Haha well I’m glad you read through it to the end. Lol. You’re awesome. But if I could explain that scene just a little bit to clarify, yes when you do that there is blood but depending on how deep the cut is horizontally there shouldn’t be any gushing of blood. The scene I described doesn’t involve blood because if it did, I would have described the blood without actually saying the word. You see she’s not trying to kill herself so she didn’t make the cuts that deep to where she was actually bleeding. I hope this makes you a little less squeamish when you think of my story lol. And I’m so glad that you pushed through it to read the rest of it. I’m very grateful.

      Thank you for liking and commenting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

      1. Nope! Still squeamish LOL. Yeah, ummm…thanks for those visuals right before I go to sleep :-p Seriously, thanks for the clarification because I was wondering why you didn’t talk about blood spatter when she was trying to answer the phone. And then I was freaking myself out when I was like “AHHHH! She’s gonna have to wipe the blood off the phone!!!” LOL, clearly I have no experience with cutting!

        Liked by 1 person

      2. Haha well other then the fact that she collapsed before she could even get to the phone, there’s no blood. I don’t have no real experience with it either (since I’ve never technically cut myself) and thank god that you don’t. Don’t feel bad. I wouldn’t want anyone to go through that, but honestly some do to not feel the emotional pain so they put thereselves through physical pains… yeah I rambled a bit sorry. But I’m glad you somewhat enjoyed my story and don’t let it haunt you. Lol. Have a good night.

        Liked by 1 person

  2. Now THIS is my type of dark story! Heavy, uncomfortable and way too real, just like I love it. I wasn’t expecting such a mature story but I’m really glad you wrote this! And I have to say you dealt with the self-harm aspect of it amazingly well; not too descriptive but absolutely gut-wrenching.
    Amazing work!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. OMG! Thank you so much! 🙂 This means a lot. I’m glad you really enjoyed it as I didn’t know if it was too much to be shared. And that’s exactly how I wanted that self infliction scene to go. That’s awesome. You have made my day!

      Thanks for liking and commenting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

    1. I know right? And I find darker themes extremely beautiful. I’m glad I found readers that actually like these type of themes, now I don’t feel unsure of what to share. I’m glad you enjoyed it.
      Thanks for liking and commenting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I’m so glad Christina was able to come to terms with herself. Those screenshots in the mirror were gorgeous, especially the first one where she looked and saw her teenage self instead. Poor girl. I’m reading in between the lines to find out what happened to her, and I’m so glad that she was able to regain some confidence even after such a traumatic ordeal. Jeremy’s such a sweetheart too. ❤

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thank you so much! I’m glad you like it! The mirror thing took so much time to get the right emotion! Because their isn’t a “fear” or “scared” emotion so I had to work with what I had. But in the end, looks like I did a good job. And yeah Christina has been through some tough ordeals, and I purposely didn’t give full details of what happened to her for that purpose and others ;). but thanks to Jeremy she was able to move forward. Sometimes people need to do something for another person before they can do it for themselves (as Cathy would have said. Lol).

      Thanks for liking and commenting! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

  4. Definitely a little triggered by this one! I read it through once and couldn’t do it again.

    You did a great job with the story telling part of it…I’m just someone who has my own demons that come out when I read stuff like this. I remember going through a very long period of time where I would mostly say, “This can’t be my life.” So reading your character saying, “This isn’t me,” reminded me of that time.

    I enjoyed how you told this story with the pictures, though. Such talent!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I just have to say besides the story, you are very strong for overcoming your period. I’m pretty sure we have demons in us all that have crawled out before or are still persistent, but it’s how we deal with them that makes us who we are. I will apologize for it triggering that former period. No need to read it again, because coming back to comment is awesome and I greatly appreciate it. Thank you for sharing that story with me. It’s very interesting to me to know stuff like that and I admire how you are able to talk about it.

      Thank you so much for taking out the time to read this story, liking, and commenting! 🙂

      Like

  5. Thank you for the feedback. I did my best to “paint” this story. Especially in the darker part of it, I worked the most on that. It was so fun describing all that. I just love that scene. 🙂

    Thank you for liking and commenting! 🙂

    Like

    1. Wow really? Thank you so much! I’m really glad you thought it was good. For I may have made it a little too realistic it seems.. which I didn’t realize how realistic I was actually making it until I already published it.
      But this is awesome anyway.

      Thank you so much for commenting and liking! 🙂

      Liked by 1 person

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s